I have this enormous burst of energy right now.
I don’t know what to do now. But the last thing I wanna do is work.
I just love seeing this expression of people at work. They seem to be going berserk with my mood swing.
They’re in this “Oh sheesh man, I’ve got to ask HER for a favour? I wish I could die.” kinda state.
So one of these guys comes up to my desk… stands for a couple of minutes waiting to talk to me.
I chew my gum harder and look at the ceiling as if he didn’t exist.
Then he clears his throat.
I wake up and get back to chatting.
He says… “Maybe we could sit around and talk for a few minutes, when you are a bit free?”
I look at him, tear a post-it off, spit my gum, dump it in the bin and ask… “what do you want?”
He says… “I sent you a mail.”
And then I start off…………. “you send a brief on Friday… send a de-brief on Monday morning and expect to have the stuff ready by EOD… whom do you think you’re talking to? An idea-machine? Not possible dude. I aint giving you anything before Wednesday. “
And what does he do? He doesn’t utter a work and walks off!
Oh boy! I’m so freakin awesome man!
Right now, if I had a hammer, I’d probably be hammering hard.
Hammer what?
Why would I walk around hammering stuff? Cause that’s not as stupid as you think it is. There are a lota protruding, unpounded nuts, wherever I go.
I wanna hammer a whole flesh and blood today. And I think I will.
Does anyone wanna pick up a fight with me?
posted by J @ 11:55 am
Comments: 115
115 Comments:
*Shudders*
Notmenotme. Nomenotmenotme. i dontnot wanna pick fight withya. But i wish i was a peon in your office and then i woulda right run down to the nearest hardware shop and brought you the biggest hammer of them all, the one with the iron studs, and then after throwing it to you I would have stayed far away from ya, yes sir, i wouldnt be anywhere near yer arms length but i would be far away and watch ya hammer away - hammer hammer hammer hammerhammer hammer hammer hammer
my office needs a peon :p
gimme contact of HR head. i got all the qualities and even look like a peon. and i seen plenty of peons in all them offices where they sacked me. i know the job inside out. i spent half my life observing peons. all my working hours i was only looking at peons and envying what they done. i just love peons. i wanna be the perfect peon, the sorta peon who gets hammers and does not get hammered. i hope the HR head gives me a white uniform. i wanna white uniform. i wanna white uniform NOW. gimme white uniform. where's our HR head. why is he not gimming me a white uniform.
hehehe
my office is in desperate need of an HR head too. There aint a single head in that non-existent HR department. No cute chick. No hot hen. No hot cock... err guy. No nothing.
Now what do we do?
Gimme contact of managing director. i got all the qualities and even look like a HR head. and i seen plenty of HR heads in all them offices where they sacked me and my head rolled and the HR head gave me that letter which was a sword. i know the job inside out. i spent half my life observing HR heads. all my working hours i was only looking at HR heads and envying what they done. i just love HR heads. i wanna be the perfect HR head, the sorta HR head who recruits the perfect peon who gets hammers and does not get hammered. i hope the MD gives me a black suit. i wanna black suit. i wanna black suit NOW. gimme black suit. where's our MD. why is he not gimming me a black suit.
well... actually my office does have an HR department. The only problem is that it has centralized operation in the country. So do i just tell u how to get in touch with them then?
Oh, btw, I just found a hatchet behind my cubicle.
some people have all the luck.
does that mean i am no longer needed. you sure? i can ask around and get the best deal on hammers. i can even go online and bid on ebay. Think about that: a peon who will surf the net to buy you the best hammer that money can buy and with which you can go hammer hammer hammerhammerhammer hammer hammer
u know wot? i'm kinda losing that 'i wanna hammer now' thingie. Temme wot do i do to get it back?
lol!!! too mach...
I wish i could use that hammer idea always! good way to tell people to soddoff!!
but this is shocking. use the hatchet NOW. on the PEON. that's what peons are for
Do u wanna fight with me?
*evil psycho smile*
fat chance. the only position that i am applying for is that of arms dealer.
what's wrong with that guy who you asked to buzz off. maybe we can both corner him in a dark alley after work...
did u mean the arms dealer or the arms dealer?
what is your guess?
i think u r an arms dealer
bingo. and now i gotta do some work. this has been a very productive day and guess i will to spoil it now. bye, for now
So young, so angry. Damn that rap music!
:D :D...
I think I can hear Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff playing in the background :)
After reading this post and its comments, there is just one thing that came to my mind. The title of Kurt Vonnegut's book - "Slaughterhouse 5".
Weird book, weirder characters, probably not worth spending the time on it though.
Dhi only one!
That was incredibly RUDE!
U didnt possibly mean that Me and my blog and my blog coments and my blog commentators are not worth spending time on did u???
I do hope for your own good that u didnt... cuz i've got a hatchet :p
On a diff note... i must read that book by Kurt wotever... is he related to Kurt Cobain by any chance?
Why on a different note. Why not on the same note.
And on the same note, I dont think he was being rude. He just called you and I think me too a weird character. That's a compliment, as far as I am concerned. Unless he called me and you a weird book.
Now shall we start fighting... Or do we wait for lunch to get over
j>> No intention of being rude. Nothing to do with your blog, your blog readers, your blog commentators and so on.
A thought that arose upon reading this post and comments was about that book. Simple as that.
And as far as I know, I don't think Kurt Vonnegut is related to Kurt Cobain. Yet, one never knows until the ......
First on a different note, why on earth did you change ur user name from 'Dhimant' to 'Dhi only one'??? Didnt anyone tell u u've got a nice n pretty name?
Getting back to that note... ok wotever. As Madhavan said, I'm fine with u calling us weird... that's if u think i'm weirder than the rest of the world.
And if u dunno if the 2 Kurts r related, who does???
@Mads (if i can call u that)
We can start fighting right now... I'm skipping lunch today. Need to get back to shape for the stip show, remember?
I know. I know. I know.
They are related, yes sir, definitely they are related and they are related because their first names are Kurt.
But who's Kurt Cobain?
Ha! I dont believe I live in a world like this!!!
Kurt Cobain, for all u uninitiated folks is GOD. u know who God is? HE's Kurt Cobain.
okay, i will fire the first salvo. I think I am much more weirder that you and I am saying this with my nose closed so that the words come out like a whine. And yes, call me Mads or even Geroge Bush, if it pleases you. Can I also call you Mads?
Kurt Cobain cant be god because Kurt Cobain was god then why would be call god god. We would call him Kurt Cobain.
Lihaza, melord, mere muwakkil ne yeh khoon nahin kiya
NO. u cant call me MADS. Cuz I have a name… and that’s J.
And lemme enlighten u a wee-bit more on this cobain thingie… OMG… did I jus say call Cobain a thingie? GOD,PLZ DON’T PUNISH ME. I can always Ctrl+Z.
Ok… God ne lagta hai mujhe maaf kar diya. After all, main unki greatest fan jo hoon!
Getting back to the topic… Kurt… as in Kurt Cobain… WAS not God. He became God after Nirvana happened.
Nirvana happened to him eh. Was he a Buddhist? Did he meditate. Have heard that it takes a lot of time for Nirvana to happen. Will Nirvana happen to me too? How can Nirvana happen to me? Oh tell me tell me. I cant wait for Niravana to happen to me as it happened to Kurt Cobain. Oh tell me tell me Mads, tell me tell me
And you can call me J from now on...
Nirvana, and Cobain (and Courtney Love, god I hate her so) were and are all extremely overrated.
Seriously, Nirvana isn't all that it's cracked up to be.
The only reason they're as famous as they are is because of Cobain's passing.
I’m NOT MADS!!!
Kurt aint a buddhist monk.
He did meditate with marijuana.
I hate Courtney Love too. She married him!
And if Kurt is overrated… so is God.
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J said:
Now now, Mads, there's no need to be Kurt
well from hammers, hatchets to kurt cobain.. talk about the genius!
Better to burn than fade away! yeah..
@ Death – I do. I really do!!!
@ J… err… Kurt …err… Mads… err… too much food makes me sick!
@ Rider on the storm… Light my candles in a daze... 'Cause I've found God… Hey
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Whoa… did someone put Kurt and Gandhi in the same line? Hahaha… I like the way u put that. And thanks for comparing it with THE wall :D
Cranberries - Shattered
I’m trying to control myself
So please don’t stand in my way
I’ve waited for the longest time
This is what I wanted in my way
Move over, move over
There’s a climax coming in my way
Move over, move over
There’s a climax coming in my way
I don’t like you, don’t compromise
Shattered by your weakness
Shattered by your smile
And I’m not very fond of you, and your lies
Shattered by your weaknesses
Shattered by your smile
All the kids are going back to school
The summer’s over it’s the golden rule
And now I’m coming out to play
So please don’t stand in my way
And all the things that seemed once to be
So important to me
Seem so trivial now that I can see
Move over, move over
There’s a climax coming my way
There’s a climax coming my way...
Please don’t stand in my way
@ humbl devil
I dont move for ppl. I dont stand in the way either. But if u come in my way, i wudnt budge. Try pushing me if u can.
hey,
that song was in your first person...
and i'll not push you, ladyJ...maybe pinch you...
hehe
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Oh was it?
Ok… but it cant be.
I mean wot in the world does… “you weakness” mean??? I’ve never heard of a term like that in my life. MY weakness? U must be kiddin me.
And don’t u dare pinch me… I have nice long and shard nails and a hatchet mind ya :p
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seems someone had a sense of deja vu and has gone into denial...
hehe
@death
Questions are asked only when there are answers. And everything has answers. You only have to know where to look for them.
I love rock too. But I don’t find it dark enough. And now I’m looking for more darkness. Darkness lies in death. But I still have 5 more years to go.
@humbl devil
pray who's that?
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death... u aint reading betwn the lines r u?
the one prayin'
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Airite peepul! shuddup. Talk sense!!!
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oh... sorry... here's a tissue n a candy :)
Only Talking Sense
there'a a wild thing in the woolshed
and it's keeping me awake at night
a devil in the closet
and a feeling I'd prefer to hide
he is religion
he won't hear me when I cry for help
he has a vision of me
but I am somebody else
We talk the pillow
there are times when I'm tied up to the fence
only talking sense
there's a mirror lake before me
but I'm frozen when it's time to jump
it's like maybe I'm afraid of what I'll find
when independence comes
you steel my shadow
you make my blood run dry
we are true only when we talk to the pillow
there are times when I'm tied up to the fence
only talking sense
did you suffer as a child
that's why you want me to cry
you are afraid of me
that's why you're so unkind
you won't deny it
when your child is tied up to the fence
and I'm only talking sense
lonely when we talk to the pillow
and your child is messed up in the head
I'm only talking sense
humbl devil... dont gimme some goddamn lyrics man... make up ur own if u can and then pass it over :)
Copyright 1995 by Tim Finn/Neil Finn (Mushroom/Roundhead Music)
hehe
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thanx
:-))
bah!!! i cant make out whether .. devil is really what he portends to be..google n paste! bah!
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being alive is the longest wait...for the penultimate death...
love makes the wait worthwhile...
@death
I’m jus wondering, is ‘funny’ the right word? I dont like that word describing me in that way. Do reconsider changing it (I have the hatchet baby!)
Well… all I can say is the feeling wont fade away with time. It’s been around for a while now. And I can see it growing. Death is no answer of course. I never said it is. I didn’t talk abt escapism either. For me death is a vision!
@humbl devil
Oh phuleeez.
No love crap allowed in this blog!
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veggie stuff. y? r u planning to poison me?
@devil : run along listen to your boybands!
@Rider
Gimme a Hi5
dont tell me u never luved boy-bands...
me did, when i was li'l...
am holdin on to m.l.t.r. just for now...
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@ humbl devil
yeah rite… MLTR is a boy band that refuses to grow up. And continues to learn rock :p
@death
u cud poison me actually. I'll be looking for someone to do that for me 5 years from now.
luv iz in the air...or izit???
mltr? he says mltr i dont believe it..
J do u still have the hatchet with ye?
yeah...ladyj
teleport it to me from bengalooroooo...
and i'll do the needful
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yeah...y not...
p.s. d devil ne'r dys...
@ Rider… I think that’s wot humbl devil means!
@ Death… Take a deep breath. Calm down. Wait for 5 yrs. I’ll tell ya where to come n kill me. I’m in the planning stage rite now.
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seems lyk ladyJ went to sleep...ppl...
No, humbl devil i havent. But i dont find u cute either :)
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@death
I don’t blog to break hearts or make up.
I don’t blog to tell ppl I find them cute.
I dont because, i dont have a heart. No wonder I dunno much abt all this heart n love crap.
thus spake d dev'l : m'heart is with another...
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BEJESUS, I go out for a moment and there's this roaring brawl which has not one take from me, the SUPERNUT of them all, the MASTERNUT, the ACENUT, the WEIRDOKING, the NONSENSEEMPORER.
I want a repeat and I want my opinion recorded for every sorry line that all of you mediocre nuts have given. Or, else, it's the courts, babies, for destroying public peace with substandard nonsense...
#100.. this is after my christmas do... totaly sobher to the phullest extent,.. it is 3:15 in the morn,,, again i ask ye.. where is the hatchet??
@humbl devil... yeah?
@madhavan... i recon i dont wanna be a supernut nemore. u have the title all for urself.
@black jedi... the world's all FAKE. cudnt agree with u more.
@rider... thanks for the dope u gave me yday... it kept me awake all nite.
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oh yeah...
here's my yet another lame effort at poetry...
i'm in love with an angel...
but angel loves who...
maybe she loves a someone else(boohoo),
but i'm entitled to a bit of her love too...
for coz my heart's been stolen...
by an angel who unknowingly broke it in too...
doesn't matter to me, as without my heart...
i can't feel any pain tooo...
damn!!!that sucked
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thanx...
btw, if everyday was sunday u wud b crying 'sundays r criminals'
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if u 2 hitch up,
'sundays wud be seminal'
heeehaaaaaaaaaa
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no pain, no gain
no gain & ppl go insane...
this one sucks big tym...
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Peepul!!!
When I say no love crap on this page… I mean every word of it!
Why don’t u guys sit with lady love and leave me alone?
Moreover, I think Sundays r terrible… so u’ve got the wrong person
LOL...
i thought the post was great...
but the comments section is even more hilarious... :D....
J ... is your fight over... ;)
hey ladyJ,
did u hack death off this comments section or was it he himself...who did it...
if it waz u, then i curse u to fall in love...
hehe
if it was him, u'd curse him to fall in love eh?
dont hav to do tht, he's already fallen for ya...
hehe
there u go again.
oh btw, death died.
say j, what is the mystery of disappearing comments?
ho the dope .. heh! u are welcome!
whoa!!!! Looks like u've had your share of fights!!!
or have you?
P.S: I left before I cud arrive, so no fighting....;-)
Fiesty. You remind me of someone I know with Bipolar. :-)
*YAWN*
Ok *damn I forgot my popcorn* now look wats goin on here...and I somewhere in that endless list of comments...saw a comment that was MINE..*grrrr* and they say u have a copyrite on things..bah cruel world...and when are u coming for coffee? or Beer?
AI, here's the plan... how abt the phirst monday afternoon of the new year? i think thats a gud day n time to get drunk on absolut iyer... err... vodka.
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