Warped Mind: April 2005

Friday, April 22, 2005

7 Comments:

arvindiyer said...: Hold on there dearie...am on my way now:); 7:39 pm
SmartOxymoron said...: Hmmm. Im with you there.; 5:15 pm
manuscrypts said...: so post!!; 1:10 pm
. : A : . said...: Nothing new?; 4:25 pm
Anonymous said...: i hope u get bored of boredom; 6:14 pm
Fist said...: This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.; 2:21 pm
Fist said...: Would you vote for me if I were to take up the elections this year?

... is what I meant to quote. Shit. I don't btw vote. That's why.; 4:13 pm

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Thanks for dropping by at my boulevard of broken dreams.

There is nothing called life
Nothing called fate
Nothing called truth
Nothing called nothing

Look around you
It’s not the same
It’s what you choose to believe in
Or for that matter what you do not believe in

It’s all over
Adios

11 Comments:

j said...: Now you're scarin' me again...

j.; 11:13 am
arvindiyer said...: HUh...has it been 6 yrs already? *scratches head* am gone for a week adn u start talkin like this...tch tch tch; 11:40 am
Anonymous said...: what happened?; 11:49 am
Anonymous said...: seriously, U know what J? U're funny!!! U make fools of other ppl, in totally the other way.. in a way they don't comprehend, and thats the funny part! But heck! I don't know too.. but me be the joker, anyway :); 2:10 pm
Rapunzel said...: oh oh....whatever happened???; 12:21 pm
manuscrypts said...: uh oh... agree on reality being a perception, but :( at the adios...; 1:56 pm
Anonymous said...: Please dont goooooooooooooo!; 5:37 pm
The Bard said...: Adios??!! y??
what is happening! y is everyone sayin g'bye :(; 10:21 pm
SmartOxymoron said...: Youre going away? Was it something I said?
But seriously, what this I hear about you leaving. Not a good idea.; 11:37 pm
Anonymous said...: wtf; 5:10 pm
. : A : . said...: "Thanks for dropping by at my boulevard of broken dreams."

Very interesting title. What followed was not very expected but I can see where the two relate.

Belief sometimes, is everything.; 9:07 am

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Monday, April 18, 2005

God, save me from the woes of a blank canvas!

Too many choices.
Not enough choices.
Both can be equally agonising.

Each day starts like the others, with room for play between the lines. It’s those unspecified moment that makes each day unique. Even in a seemingly monotonous existence, there are quiet hints and subtle tints of differences.

Why do these moments often pass unnoticed? Is it because we so often choose to let pass away?

A fleeting sense of jamais vu, you might call it. A canvas etched with invisible paint doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all.

What say?

9 Comments:

manuscrypts said...: choices are agonising..period!!; 1:37 pm
Anonymous said...: Life is full of choices; 2:22 pm
gulnaz said...: glad u came by my blog, gave me a chance to visit yours. :)
not enough choice is worse that too many choices...but yep both are agonising.; 5:37 pm
Anonymous said...: I think i will vote for you.; 5:43 pm
SmartOxymoron said...: Ironic. You miss the details, the seeds of randomness, *because* youre lost in the details. Too engrossed in the detail to decipher the pattern.
Interesting thoughts those. Set you thinking...; 9:23 pm
SmartOxymoron said...: And hey, the 'wisecrack of the day' absolutely cracks me up :P. How'd you come up with that?; 9:24 pm
Anonymous said...: choices are agonising.lack of choices is even worse. waaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn:(( God, save me from life. i wanna quit. like NOW!!!

--rapunzel; 11:23 pm
J said...: Manuscrypts ~ Yup. Rite!

God ~ i wish it were.

Gulnaz ~ :)

Deja vu ~ Thanks!

Smartoxymoron ~ hmmm... i'm still thinking :-p

Rapunzel ~ Me too!
:-I; 10:34 am
. : A : . said...: A canvas etched with invisible paint is actually a very interesting idea.

:-); 4:26 pm

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Friday, April 15, 2005

My dreams avoid my consciousness, mock my will to understand life.
So when I wake up most mornings, I am empty.
I wake up like a slice of fiction sandwiched between facts.
Forged with unclouded dreams.
I miss all kinds of things suddenly.
I overwhelm myself by craving for those eyes to meet mine, the ears to meet my words, the hands to meet my hands.
Waiting for my daydreams to meet the night.
It’s as if I’ve returned from the sea, unable to make contact with the natives on the shore, waving their hands to me.
I need someone’s feet to dance with mine to this tune of craving.
So that I gather the things I don’t understand.
I understand what my life’s missing.
I must figure out before I leave the ship.
I don’t want to sink with it.

4 Comments:

Rapunzel said...: yearning wanting craving...yes i know the feeling. only i have no clue what i'm craving for or if i'll continue to crave once i do get what i think i am craving for.; 10:30 pm
The Bard said...: well written and i hope u find what ur searching :); 10:39 pm
Elixir said...: hmm i kno. and J babe...:) well nothing really jus wanna tell u i love ya*hugs*; 10:13 pm
J said...: Hey Rapz, hmm... i feel that way too! Wot do we do abt it?

Da Devil, i hope so tooooooo! :)

Elixir, i luv ya too! *hugs n kisses*; 11:19 am

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

It’s a nice bright morning.

I can see the clear white clouds on the crisp blue sky from the tiny little pockets visible behind the green leaves.

I am floating free on the sunny streets.

The sunlight is so low, it reflects back from the masked door, right into my eyes.
It’s difficult to see where I’m going, but I don’t really mind.
I reflect nothing, I suck the light inside me and try to abolish the darkness around.

I remember the time when I was up pretty early one morning and I saw the sun and the moon in the sky, at the same time... wish I could capture that moment.
Wouldn’t it be very much like the way I watch people carefully and shrug the strange differences off?

No, I have nothing to say to myself.

Mute.
Blind.
Deaf.
Silence.
Peace.

5 Comments:

Elixir said...: Mute.
Blind.
Deaf.
Silence.
Peace.
amen to that.; 8:44 pm
arvindiyer said...: tsk tsk tsk....AMEN!!!; 11:33 pm
. : A : . said...: Seeing the sun and the moon in the sky at the same time is an amazing experience. I remember when I saw it, I had a camera, but they were so far apart that I couldn't capture it!

Thanks for dropping by my blog and for your comment!; 4:23 am
manuscrypts said...: reminds me of lazy sunday mornings... *looking around* whens the next sunday??; 4:48 pm
Elixir said...: hehe @ A, ofcourse they r far apart, moon sets in da opposite direction to da Sun rising...!!! :P; 1:12 am

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Friday, April 08, 2005

If I’m very happy... it shows. Yeah. I make sure it does.
But when I’m not very happy, does it show? I don’t think it does. What shows is that I’m not VERY happy. But does it show that I’m sad?
Maybe it does... to someone. Someone who can read my mind. Someone I can’t fool. Someone I don’t wanna fool. Someone who knows me too well. Someone who wants me to be happy.
But if you have the guts to look at me. In the eye. The pain is clearly visible there.
I avoid the mirrors. I wish I were a vampire who lacks reflections. I wish I were blind to the reflections I make of myself on the faces and minds of other people.
I see nothing when I talk with them. I laugh in the right places and maybe fail to cry in the right ones.

I’m all fake!

8 Comments:

Anonymous said...: Maybe you are a good actress; 3:13 pm
arvindiyer said...: Oh ok...I have finally found the dialogues for my movie...
*tsk tsk...we need to talk..* Take care!!!; 9:45 am
Anonymous said...: and we all say... "Welcome to the club"; 8:39 pm
Elixir said...: awwwwwww
*its hug time*
n i dont think ur fake. ur posts churn out da truest u...ofcourse unless ur lying which u dont.
so ur not fake, but genuine enough 2 hurt.
my 2 dollars worth :); 9:05 pm
Anonymous said...: Look into my eyes you will see; 11:29 am
Anonymous said...: Awwww... arent we all?!; 12:15 pm
manuscrypts said...: women fake, thats natural :p.. but on a serious note, so long as u realise it and can deal with it, its fine...; 4:21 pm
The Bard said...: awww J no u not fake! ur reflections wana make u happy they wana tel u that ur smiles gr8....don loose it :)
the creases wil iron out wid time! jus give it the time :); 10:54 pm

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Thursday, April 07, 2005

I, unlimited

I light up the wrong side of the cigarette!

I went on a small walk, all by myself, in the rain, in the midst of work.

I pretended he just didn’t exist when I bumped onto him, near the stairs.

I sang ‘Bloom’ aloud while listening to ‘Vertigo’.

I had this faraway look while everyone was going berserk in the brainstorming session.

I gave back all the cold looks to people who think I am a -----.

I gave my boss a compliment, well… actually, he couldn’t read the hidden sarcasm.

I think I’ve lost an inch along my waistline and gained one where it matters most.

I wrote a letter and faxed it to get my handwriting analysed.

I look great! G said this shirt looks great on me, N said I look great in this shirt. Dunno whom I like more!

5 Comments:

arvindiyer said...: Hey u look gr8...btw am in Nemma bungalooroo...:) tsk tsk; 9:04 am
manuscrypts said...: omy!!; 10:16 am
manuscrypts said...: what WAS in that cigarette?? :); 10:19 am
Anonymous said...: YOU smoke?; 10:25 am
J said...: TylerD ~ Funny??? :-O Good heavens! That was the last thing I intended to be!

AI ~ Like I didn’t know. I’m talking abt the ‘I look gr8’ part. Now can I have the ‘attitude with the TM’ thingy from u as a b’day return gift? :-p

Manuscrypts ~ hehe… well, it was jus a normal marlboro lite, except that it was chori ka maal ;); 1:48 pm

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Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Still haven’t found what I’m looking for

I like the way we exchange quick, lighthouse kind of glances these days.

I have grown soft feelers on my temples and they are always aimed at your direction.
I sense your antennae as well

It’s just impossible not to enjoy the feeling.

The hunt is always the best part.
Every time my eyes fall on an intriguing soul, a prospective prey.
Walking along the roads of unknown.

Thank you for lighting my darkness, few seconds at the time, randomly.

6 Comments:

gvenum said...: You dont have to thank me...the pleasure is all on this side... thanks for dropping by.; 11:25 am
Anonymous said...: v. mushy; 11:30 am
Anonymous said...: dat was nice but you could have spared the roach metaphor?!!!!:)); 3:35 pm
Elixir said...: lol. all due respect...da feelers thingy, i cud actually imagine a crawly n like judy said, does make u feel insecty :P

psst: i dono how i missd da soft rock!!!
its amazing!!! one o ur bestest ive read i think.; 9:19 pm
arvindiyer said...: Errrrr...Bebey...think u got the person alll rong...me comin there only morrow:) *grin*; 1:05 am
J said...: Gvenum ~ :)
Deja vu ~ :)))
Judy ~ i know!
Elixir ~ hehe... thank u!
AI ~ Well, i was actually talking abt the other arvindiyer i know ;)
TylerD ~ :))))))))))))); 5:16 pm

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Monday, April 04, 2005

The Soft Rock says...

Will you hold a rock in your hand?
And try and hear if it has a heart that skips a beat?
Do you have all the patience in the world to wait until it softens up?
Wait until it turns into a piece of life?
Can you keep it inside your soft hand until it has the courage to turn into a flesh?
Do you feel it growing on you?
Do you see the tiny cracks spreading all over its surface, giving way to a larger rift?
How does it feel to hold something that’s writhing in pain?
Have you ever tried listening to what a rock has to say?
The soft murmurs that are almost impossible to hear?
Will you keep it close to you, and hum to it softly as the darkness falls?

Can you care for a stone?
Will you?

I don’t think I will!
(And that title was not inspired by soft porn!)

7 Comments:

manuscrypts said...: ...the nearest thing i can visualise is.....an egg... :); 5:17 pm
arvindiyer said...: BRILLIANT>..Absofreakinlutely Brilliant...
WOW...I didn't get it btw; 5:18 pm
J said...: Manuscrypts ~ a rock is a rock is a rock :)

AI ~ hehehe...... roflmao! AI thats like the bestest comment on my blog. Can i have a TM for the word 'bestest'?; 5:24 pm
Anonymous said...: I have no clue what you are talking about, but it sounds interesting all the same; 5:58 pm
arvindiyer said...: Suckier than the suckest and bestest are also words TM by me:) but since u are such a sweetheart, u can take it:); 10:23 pm
Vignesh said...: I think you can. I think you do. I think you will.

Really, I do.; 10:18 pm
J said...: AI ~ Thank u soooooooooo much!

Vig ~ u dont know me well enuf ;); 10:55 am

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Warped Mind

Friday, April 22, 2005

7 Comments:

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Thanks for dropping by at my boulevard of broken dreams.

11 Comments:

Monday, April 18, 2005

God, save me from the woes of a blank canvas!

9 Comments:

Friday, April 15, 2005

4 Comments:

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

It’s a nice bright morning.

5 Comments:

Friday, April 08, 2005

8 Comments:

Thursday, April 07, 2005

I, unlimited

5 Comments:

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Still haven’t found what I’m looking for

6 Comments:

Monday, April 04, 2005

The Soft Rock says...

7 Comments:

err...

You wouldn't wanna read this crap would you?

My archives bite the dust.

Warped Mind

Friday, April 22, 2005

7 Comments:

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Thanks for dropping by at my boulevard of broken dreams.

11 Comments:

Monday, April 18, 2005

God, save me from the woes of a blank canvas!

9 Comments:

Friday, April 15, 2005

4 Comments:

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

It’s a nice bright morning.

5 Comments:

Friday, April 08, 2005

8 Comments:

Thursday, April 07, 2005

I, unlimited

5 Comments:

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Still haven’t found what I’m looking for

6 Comments:

Monday, April 04, 2005

The Soft Rock says...

7 Comments:

err... You wouldn't wanna read this crap would you?

My archives bite the dust.

err...

You wouldn't wanna read this crap would you?