Warped Mind: November 2005

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

When you get tangled in some particularly adhesive spaghetti, it’s difficult hacking your way out.

Wish I could forget that some stuff existed.

29th June. Guitar. Acting. Mahabharata. Rallys Sport. IIM. Broken nails. Missing rings. Missed calls. Brands. SMSes that can’t be deleted. Long drives with lotsa beer. Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. Norah Jones. Gyaan. Mail backs. Monday evenings. Bacardi. Black lies. Darjeeling. Ciggies. Dogs. B/W photos. Desperation. Cross. Blue. Tom. Diamond rings. Parties with common friends. Lipgloss. Walk on the beach. Silly goats. Boatclub Road. Shell-shaped chocolates. Wills. Karaoke. Empty words. Scotch on the rocks. The wall. All night phone calls. ash trays. M2Ms. Pregnant pauses. 9880766888. Tears. Broken hearts. Sighs.

Or at least gimme a Ctrl+Z.

6 Comments:

Once the Conman said...: Girl... awesome post... BUT, you made the biggest mistake of yours or someone else's life by putting that phone number up in public.
Some crazy fuckers are gonna think it's your number and man... are they gonna call a hundred times.
Whoever's number is that has had it.
YTou're smarter than this i think.; 6:19 pm
Anonymous said...: I'm calling up right now!!!; 7:10 pm
chaos said...: J... i think every one of us have gone thru similar phases of life... and *sigh*... is the only thing we do...

some philo: i know it's difficult to cut the past and get ahead... but i found an interesting way to get over it... start dreaming... dreaming BIG... out of the world... (atleast in my dreams i am at the top of the world!)...
caution: when u wake up... reality bytes ;); 9:52 am
Sudipta Chatterjee said...: If you can't beat 'em, join the spaghetti jungle.; 9:58 am
Anonymous said...: *hugs*; 10:58 am
Anonymous said...: Something's definitely going wrong in Ur life. I know that for sure.; 3:15 pm

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Monday, November 28, 2005

I woke up this morning with this really nice song in my head.
It was running on the tele.
Dad liked it too.
Mom liked the surfing.

It’s the kinda song that keeps you humming the same tune all day.
It’s the kinda song that ‘he’ would like.

Try listening to it, without actually listening to the lyrics… it’s like this nice feel-good song. But it’s negative in a way.

I dunno why I like it actually.

I hope this old train breaks down
Then I could take a walk around
And, see what there is to see
And time is just a melody
All the people in the street
Walk as fast as their feet can take them
I just roll through town
And though my windows got a view
The frame I’m looking through
Seems to have no concern for now
So for now

I need this here
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown

7 Comments:

Once the Conman said...: never heard it before... but sounds nice.; 6:52 pm
arvindiyer said...: There are a whole list of songs that are feel nice..but then again why would u wanna NOT listen to the lyrics? I thought that was the best part of the song:); 11:01 am
Anonymous said...: hmmmmmmmmm; 3:16 pm
Anonymous said...: breakdown? breakup?; 5:23 pm
Golden Words said...: busy busy girl.. no time to mail me only huh?
and what happened to the lunch treat u promised?; 8:02 pm
chaos said...: good to see that u r back into life :); 8:05 pm
Rider on the Storm said...: i dont believe no one got this song!!!
fucking surprising ...
jack johnson...
n yea check out this link of mine.. dated oct 28th..
http://kricketwars.blogspot.com/2005/10/i-need-this-ol-train.html; 10:51 pm

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Thursday, November 24, 2005

Can I kill myself today? :)

12 Comments:

. : A : . said...: Not a chance!; 6:09 pm
Bloggard said...: I don't know what answer you are looking for.; 9:23 pm
Anonymous said...: Has the time come?; 10:57 pm
Anonymous said...: r u 30?; 9:47 am
Anonymous said...: why? why? why?; 6:23 pm
arvindiyer said...: Hahahahaha...and here I was thinkin I was the only one who knew ur Kobain secret :( *shakes head and goes to a corner*

NO seriously...How could u do this to me?; 7:05 pm
Bonatellis said...: have u or have u not is the question ...; 11:46 am
@$#!$# said...: well its already day after tomorrow...and if u r reading this i guess u know the answer to your post :-); 1:09 pm
chaos said...: why kill self when you can kill someone else ;)...
... your killing self ... will that solve all the purpose...; 11:01 am
Anonymous said...: only if its me who is killing you.; 4:59 pm
Anonymous said...: Apparently, it only gets better after.; 1:24 am
narayanan said...: Very simple, cross (Chennai) Mount Road (without using the subway ofcourse :D) :); 1:15 am

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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Yesterday was one of those days. You know those days when nothing’s really gone wrong but you are still low. It was one of those times. Nothing could have stopped me from crying.

It’s when things you don’t wanna remember, don’t leave your mind.
You get on to your negative best.
You lock yourself up in your room and loo, every ten minutes.
You want to be left alone.
But there are people all around you.

It’s getting more and more difficult to pretend
To act as if nothing’s gone wrong.
To cry from within and smile on the outside.
And more so because these are the people who really matter. The only ones who care.

I’ve told myself a million times before that I’m not going to let this happen to me again. But I know it will. I can see it coming every time.

It hurts to see people around trying to cheer me up and stuff. It’s no fault of theirs. But it’s not mine either.

7 Comments:

Anonymous said...: Oh hell! one of those days allright! Been there, done that! (Sh)It happens!; 4:08 pm
Anonymous said...: Now what about the strip show I bought tickets for?; 4:13 pm
Pincushion said...: Oh!Oh! Cm 'ere n lemme give u a hugggs! I know of those days only too often :( but hey..
the best part is that treat it as a wave, surf on its head and soon it'll be gone!!
...now grrl you go for that show Deja vu's talkin about ;); 10:39 pm
Anonymous said...: All i remember about yesterday was ... a brandy cocktail .....

tsk tsk .....; 11:51 am
chaos said...: uh oh!... poor you.; 4:56 pm
shooting star said...: even if it is one of those days..it makes u more mature..more understanding ..and more strong...and more close to life..close to urself...isnt it?; 11:07 am
anantha said...: Though this slightly late, mebbe it will help..

>:D<; 9:59 pm

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Monday, November 21, 2005

New stuff is fun.

I think I wanna do a strip show tomorrow.
And I'm getting positively giddy with anticipation.

8 Comments:

Anonymous said...: Where?; 6:28 pm
Anonymous said...: J.. this is not fair.. I need a ticket.. I need a free ticket.. come on.. if only for encouraging new stuff.. don't U even freakin contact me if I don't get a free ticket..; 8:29 pm
Once the Conman said...: LOL!
I've done a strip show before...
It's a lil scary...
but worth a try.; 8:41 pm
Bloggard said...: hmmm...you've got my attention; 9:32 pm
Woodooz said...: Eh ? Howz u btw, been a long time :o); 10:55 pm
Anonymous said...: WTF; 11:04 am
Anonymous said...: its gonna rain tomorrow..it would be better if its done in the rain.maybe in an open ground. spectacular!!; 1:53 pm
anantha said...: hmmm...you gonna do that around a pole? Can you dance? And are there seats available? :p; 8:25 pm

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Friday, November 11, 2005

I’m falling.

It doesn’t matter how or why.
What matters is that I’m dropping like a rock.
Accelerating at ninety point eighty nine meters per second per minute per hour from thirty thousand feet.

That’s a funny way to put things down aint it?

I’m feeling funny today. As in giggly n funny. Which is quite a change from what I’ve been all of this week.

I wanna get into a fight, go on a giggling spree and repeat every word my boss says – all at the same time.

Woohooooooo! What am I blogging for?

9 Comments:

anantha said...: Yo J, what are you on? :); 2:20 am
. : A : . said...: Go out, have a ball!

:-); 9:58 am
@$#!$# said...: whatever you are up to, keep enjoying it....

and spread the mood :-); 11:51 am
arvindiyer said...: "Falling" ahhhh, am sure that is fun..and well wat are u bloggin for? Good koshtin...been askin the same thing for a while now:); 3:22 pm
chaos said...: Have Fun! Gee J, I J you ;); 10:20 am
Rapunzel said...: tranquillisers.....ah....drop me a line wont u??; 9:43 am
sinusoidally said...: You are pretty funny!; 6:21 am
Anonymous said...: Grow up girl and stop your mood from swinging so violently.; 6:41 pm
Anonymous said...: grumble grumble @*&!(*@&!!; 6:13 pm

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Thursday, November 10, 2005

And I'm losing my favourite game

I’m losing my loneliness
My popularity

I’m losing my appetite
My contentment

I’m losing my sleep
My consciousness

My mind
My life
Myself

Again

Late nights are not my favourite part of the day anymore.

The pills make me sleepy. Or so I think. But they are just supposed to be tranquillisers.

I sit in my couch and dose off…with the radio blaring, with some soap running on TV, with a book in my hand.

I am forced to stay awake and open the door. It’s when the bell rings endlessly that I even hear it, open the door, force a, “hey, you’re back. I’m too tired to talk. G’ night! Mwuuuuuaaaaaah.”

I drag myself to bed and find that I’m more awake than I was a couple of minutes ago. Sigh!

There is silence in the air. All I can hear is the clock ticking and myself breathing. I count sheep, meditate, stare at the ceiling and finally fall asleep.

zzzzzzzzzzz

My dreams are getting more and more disturbing. Actually negative. Very negative.

I wake up the house with my blood-curdling scream at 2 in the night. Mom asks, “what’s wrong with you? What did you dream of?” I make up a story. Making up such stuff comes naturally to me now.

And the worst part is that I remember them when I wake up. So the negativity kind of lingers on. Follows me throughout the day.

It’s funny, but life was so much better last week.

Aah, but that’s just a fragment of the whole story.

8 Comments:

Raj said...: Thankfully, my dreams are usually very interesting with better storylines than most bollywood movies but sometimes I dream of scary big animals who are out to eat me just like in those cheesy creature flicks.; 4:44 pm
Anonymous said...: You suffer from insomnia.; 5:26 pm
Anonymous said...: You know Jupe.. Jupe as in Pete, Jupe and one other guy from the adventure series by Enid Blyton, he used to say.. "Come into my aaaarrrmmms..." ;); 7:51 pm
Bloggard said...: Morpheus awaits?; 9:31 pm
arvindiyer said...: OKTOBERFEST AWAITS>...U comin?; 7:40 am
Anonymous said...: Whats the complete story?; 1:16 pm
Anonymous said...: Why don't you try and decipher what your dreams mean?; 6:05 pm
Innocent Bullet said...: I like the twists that my thoughts had to take as I meandered along with yours! :-); 10:50 am

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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

I swallowed gum!

I hope it doesn't stick on to my throat and choke me to death.

I don't mind dying, but I don't wanna die today. I don't wanna die single. With nobody to cry for me.

But maybe I will. Cause I feel particularly non-flirty these days.

I think I’ve never looked worse in the last two years.
I haven’t gone shopping for ages.
My hair has given up on me.
My nails seem to have gone yellow.
I think I have dark circles, due to lack of proper sleep.
AND I feel fat.

I think I suffer from the Bridget Jones syndrome.

Maybe I really am gonna die single.
Maybe nobody will discover I’m gone until the credit card guys knock my door to collect their dues.

I like this feeling. I’m finally behaving like a girl! :-))))

13 Comments:

Anonymous said...: This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.; 11:45 am
Anonymous said...: This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.; 11:47 am
Anonymous said...: Muhahahahaha I choked on a piece of chicken while reading that post. never miss one of ur posts actually.; 1:26 pm
Woodooz said...: I have swallowed gum unpteen number of times... esp when I enter the conference room, or my boss's cabin... Am alive and kickin :o); 2:43 pm
Once the Conman said...: I always swallow gum...; 3:42 pm
Bloggard said...: ?!?!?!?!; 3:59 pm
Anonymous said...: and one more point to your post. everyone seems to worry abt the gum than you..; 4:12 pm
Anonymous said...: Bat: You don't seem to have got the point. Everybody is concerned about J. It's her fear of choking to death that everybody is trying to convince her about. The other things are the general girlie things which don't really matter. For all that you know, she might just be imagining such stuff or fooling us all.; 5:22 pm
. : A : . said...: I'm another serial gum swallower. Nothing happens.

:-); 7:53 pm
Anonymous said...: yup.. like how U post your comment under anonymous, J :P; 8:31 pm
anantha said...: ummm.. u dying single? meebe we should hook up or something.. LOL!; 9:47 pm
Anonymous said...: when one has a chocolate mudpie without offering to someone else.... they deserve to grow fat ...err i mean die ...err i mean grow fat and die....

Single ??... really .... Liar-Liar ...pants on TNT....; 3:42 pm
J said...: Thanks everyone... I'm alive! Gum tastes awesome! :D

Bat:
Dear bro, Jusss shuddup will ya?

aNTi:
Yeah let's do that ;)

Devil:
- Refresh your memory first. Then you'll remember, that someone DID offer to share. But then someone wanted to skip lunch on a lunch date ;)
- TNT? Oh yeah rite. Cargo connector :p; 5:34 pm

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Thursday, November 03, 2005

I can’t decide which of these I like better:

~*~ The way good fudge melts in my mouth, and my heart tells me it’s good to be sinful.

~*~ The fuzzy feeling when a cute guy smiles at me at the end of a really bad day asks for my number. And I say I don’t have a number where he could give me a buzz.

~*~ Walking down a deserted road, alone, after dinner. A head full of thoughts and a tummy full of food.

~*~ The uncanny feeling that I’ve lost a couple of inches in spite of putting on some weight… turns out to be true!

~*~ Waking up from a fairy tale like dream with my sixth sense telling me something nice is waiting to happen.

~*~ Discovering that the top I’ve been searching for two years wasn’t lost after all, and it fits me perfectly too.

~*~ Seeing my favourite song on TV after a long day at work. And play a rockstar, by waking up the building at the dead of the night.

~*~ The anticipation of a weekend free of everything I dread doing.

Though I know none of these will ever actually live up to the promise, but the possibility is something worth savouring.

12 Comments:

A Chrysanthemum by any other name... said...: Ahh... To ap apni lifeline istamal karna chahti hia... audience poll!; 4:27 pm
Nicole Braganza said...: you've said it so perfectly. Reading this put a great big grin on my face!

"Waking up from a fairy tale like dream with my sixth sense telling me something nice is waiting to happen"

If I had to choose - that would be my most favourite of all!; 4:46 pm
Nicole Braganza said...: PS. I think you have the coolest job in the world being a copywriter!; 4:51 pm
Anonymous said...: #2 takes the cake.; 6:14 pm
arvindiyer said...: "The fuzzy feeling when a cute guy smiles at me at the end of a really bad day asks for my number. And I say I don’t have a number where he could give me a buzz"

Yup...I know I know:); 6:18 pm
First Rain said...: You go girl n live it up! :D I do not know about the other things, but chocolate fudge always tastes divine.; 6:38 pm
Anonymous said...: If its nirvana who was the rockstar U were referring to, then I move the residents of the building throw you out..; 7:39 pm
. : A : . said...: Why not take all? Am sure some of them will come through soon.

:-
); 7:47 am
Sameer said...: I liked all of them...
Keep it up...; 12:01 pm
shyloh's poetry said...: Such a nice post. I enjoyed it. I love fudge. Mostly from a fair. Yummm!!!; 8:03 pm
Sue said...: thats a neat post!

my fave lines goes
a conscience doesn't prevent sin. It prevents you from enjoying it and thus like majority of the junta said it... go for em all... :); 7:28 am
Golden Words said...: but i never asked for your number..
man .. women assume so many things..
all i said was.. ahh..never mind..; 7:33 pm

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Warped Mind

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

When you get tangled in some particularly adhesive spaghetti, it’s difficult hacking your way out.

6 Comments:

Monday, November 28, 2005

7 Comments:

Thursday, November 24, 2005

12 Comments:

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

7 Comments:

Monday, November 21, 2005

New stuff is fun.

8 Comments:

Friday, November 11, 2005

I’m falling.

9 Comments:

Thursday, November 10, 2005

And I'm losing my favourite game

8 Comments:

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

I swallowed gum!

13 Comments:

Thursday, November 03, 2005

I can’t decide which of these I like better:

12 Comments:

err...

You wouldn't wanna read this crap would you?

My archives bite the dust.

Warped Mind

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

When you get tangled in some particularly adhesive spaghetti, it’s difficult hacking your way out.

6 Comments:

Monday, November 28, 2005

7 Comments:

Thursday, November 24, 2005

12 Comments:

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

7 Comments:

Monday, November 21, 2005

New stuff is fun.

8 Comments:

Friday, November 11, 2005

I’m falling.

9 Comments:

Thursday, November 10, 2005

And I'm losing my favourite game

8 Comments:

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

I swallowed gum!

13 Comments:

Thursday, November 03, 2005

I can’t decide which of these I like better:

12 Comments:

err... You wouldn't wanna read this crap would you?

My archives bite the dust.

err...

You wouldn't wanna read this crap would you?